I’m just back from the best weekend in Dublin to see Beyonce in Croke Park and it’s exceptional timing as I have been meaning to write a post about confidence for a while – something this iconic woman has in spades.
“I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it / I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it – From Formation – Beyonce
My confidence levels have varied at different stages in my life depending on circumstances but in general I’ve always had a healthy amount of it and it has certainly benefitted me in both my personal and professional life. However since starting my blog back in January, it’s slowly taken a bit of a battering, surprisingly without me even noticing.
It happened so gradually that I hadn’t recognised it for what it was until it came to a head recently and forced me to examine the issue. Whilst I simply adore blogging, its undoubtedly difficult to put yourself out there to be judged on a daily basis and hats off to anyone who has the courage to do it. However whilst other people judging you is one thing, I was fast becoming my own most unforgiving critic.
“I Took A Vow That From Now On / I’m Gonna Be My Own Best Friend.” – Beyonce – Me, Myself & I
I found I was getting increasingly critical of photos of myself and whilst I think to a certain extent, of course I need to be, I was definitely taking it a step too far, causing me to loose sight of my main goal. For example, I remember my initial reaction when I first saw these very photos was ‘are they good enough, was I too pale, could my expression be better etc.. Little shadows of doubt were starting to creep across a lot of what I was doing, clouding my judgement and all the time chipping away at my confidence.
“I’ma keep running / Cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.- Freedom – Beyonce
I started my blog for many different reasons but mainly as a creative outlet to express myself, something which I felt had been lacking since moving from London two years ago. It’s not like I woke up one morning and went ‘oh I’d love to be a fashion blogger, I might try that’! I live for style, always have, always will, its part of who I am. I work in retail design and branding so styling and marketing is what I do every day. When I was trying to figure out what to do in college, an English Degree was the obvious choice because of my love for writing. This is who I am and my blog is an outlet for me to project all of these passions and skills. However, I am not a model and sadly this is the area which I found myself focusing on the most.
I Could Care Less What You Think / I Need No Permission.” — “Single Ladies- Beyonce
When I finally realised that my confidence levels were suffering- isn’t it funny how much we let slip under the radar – I was able to start working on it and have been ever since but it’s not easy. Confidence isn’t an accessory you can buy in the shop or a present that another person can give you by showering you with compliments, it’s a gift you give yourself- a gift we all need to give ourselves. I realised that I had no other choice but to dig deep and believe in myself and slowly but surely, I started to feel a bit better about myself again.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a little girl in my head who visits from time to time and whose favourite phrase is ‘no you’re not good enough’ and whilst it’s likely that this little girl may well be a lifelong visitor to my thoughts, I’ve realised that I also have the power to control her. Only I can choose whether or not to feed her and give her the tools to grow and transform from just a little girl into a domineering force that could potentially impact and hinder my entire future. We must all learn to find our inner strength, draw on the brilliance of the skills and talents we’ve been blessed with and give these the tools to grow and flourish.
You might have noticed by now that this post is littered with little lyrics from some of my favourite Beyonce songs – was anyone else as gutted as I was that she didn’t sing Single Ladies last night? – and that’s simply because I adore her confidence and how it comes across in her music. She has undeniable talent but singing aside, she’s an incredibly empowered and fearless woman. Watching her own the stage to 75,000 last night, reminded me that confidence comes from within. It doesn’t come from other people, sure it’s always nice to get good feedback whether in your career or personal life, but ultimately you need to believe in yourself first and foremost – we could all learn a thing or two from Queen Bey.
Have a good week everyone and remember if you wear anything this week make sure it’s your confidence – it’s always in style!
Photos by http://www.PawelNowak.ie