As many of you will know – well I did enough complaining about it the last two weeks – I have been suffering from Vertigo which has put a massive halt to my daily routine, from going to work to going out with my friends and quite frankly going anywhere!
It’s been so bad some days, I can barely get out of bed without feeling dizzy and ill so I’ve had little choice but to literally sit still and do nothing- two things that quite frankly, I won’t be winning awards for anytime soon.
Although I won’t go into the condition too much- other than to say I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy – it is beginning to lift thank god and I do have some good days which I am so grateful for.
When I woke up on Sunday morning, I just knew that it was going to be one of those good days so headed off to the park with my mom and the dogs – my dog Timba and little yorkie, Maggie whom I was minding for my friend, Rebekah.
It was literally the perfect morning, the sun was shining, the air was crisp,the park was full of awesome autumness and strolling along with my mum and our furry companions, I could’nt have been happier.
As we walked and talked in between me scrabbling for Maggie as she miraculously attracted the attention of all the wrong type of pooches – sorry let me rephrase that – all the pooches, I found myself pondering my sudden feeling of elatedness.
Without thinking about it too much, I came to the realisation that minus my usual heavy headiness, legs unsure as a new born foal’s and the fact that I didn’t feel like puking at any given moment, it was no wonder I was happy just to feel normal again and be able to enjoy life as it is. If this illness has reminded me of anything, it’s that we don’t enjoy life half as much as we should.
Life nowadays is so hectic, in between work, family duties, housework and trying to find the time to feed our social media addictions, it’s hard sometimes just to keep on top of everything. Being able to just walk yesterday in the beautiful countryside and take in the burnt beauty of the season and again…….just actually walk, made me realise that perhaps my illness happened for a reason…..
My mind is typically a constant whirl of activity whether its work, my blog, my upcoming wedding or another project I’ve somehow managed to add to my pile. I always have too many things on the go at one time. Even when my plate is already full, I have this annoying habit of topping it up with more and I don’t just mean second or third helpings, I mean full on gluttony – yip I’m that child with the chocolate all over her face, crying and sick because she’s eaten too much. Hands up all the other fat kids that like to do this at parties….
Whilst having this type of mentality is sometimes great as it means you get lots done, it can sometimes mean you end up running around in circles and in my case, leave very little room for moments of calm in your life. Not being able to go far beyond my front door the past few weeks has meant that I have had to put a few things on the back burner and perhaps that’s not a bad thing. I think a lot of us are guilty of taking on too much, stressing ourselves out and not being able to enjoy what is right in front of us ……ya know, that thing, whats it called? … oh ya…… life !
After the third time getting my lead all tangled with my moms and nearly falling over because Timba has an annoying habit of going after every small child he likes the look of and generally giving out and laughing in that, I love first world problems kinda way, an awful thought crept into my head…. would I be enjoying this day just as much if I hadn’t been so ill the day before?! I don’t want to dwell much on the answer to that one but I’ve made a pact with myself to not wait until the next time my quality of life is taken away from me to cherish every day fully without worrying about the next.
Even as I write this, I worry about how I will actually carry it out in practice as I can already feel my brain clocking up a load of new things to add to my never ending list, but I am going to make a conscious effort to stop, breathe and just enjoy- I have to.
We all need to slow down, stop trying to do all the things and focus on the little things, live in the moment before worrying about the next and thank god for every day we are alive, happy and healthy because those things are the only things that really matter.
Duster Satin Coat- Primark – purchased in Pennys in Jervis Street approx two weeks ago
Embroidered Jeans- Glamorous.com (amazing online delivery & petite range – I’m wearing size 6)
Pink Tassel Earrings- H&M (instore)
Standard White Shirt – Next
Heels- New look – from a while back
Photos by http://www.PawelNowak.ie